Saturday, 4 February 2012

Towards being a Stay at Home Mama (SAHM)

All going well I will be a mama of two, sometime in May/June. I am so excited, terrified, unsure what to expect, while I am feeling much more confident that I will be able to handle the stresses and unknowns of my first babymoon (this is my big hope, as first time round it was tougher than I ever imagined), but I’m terrified I will be wrong!
breastfeeding newborn
Some examples of what I did wrong first time round and what I hope to skip over this time:-
·         breastfeeding-
o   getting to grips with demand feeding straight away,
o   throwing away the routine books,
o   trusting my instincts,
o   mastitis- bad GPs advice led to pumping and dumping on infected breast, having to introduce a bottle of formula to my already windy baby,
o   if I have any problems, which no doubt I will, my first call will be to my local LLL leader or great breastfeeding friends I have met along the way, or recently started breastfeeding group for Irish mums who are breasting older babas (sprung out of terrible interview on Four Live of inspirational Mum Niamh ( who tandem feeds her two- 3.5yr old and 6 month old.)- a wealth of info (extended breastfeeding in ireland).
o   I always did feel comfortable feeding anywhere- well pretty quickly anyway, so same again.
o   Tandem feeding- unsure how this will go, no expectations to date, haven’t had a chance to think about it much. The whole tandem feeding in public, I’ll do it no problem, but may feel a bit self conscious, need to work on that. Though LM feeds quite rarely when out now, but that may all change when his little brother or sister is on all the time. Although this is where I hope my wrap sling (Baby Wearing) will make all the difference- LO(little one) will be tucked in feeding unknown to LM. We’ll see!!
·    not sleeping when he slept (what was I thinking!! Watching Gilmore Girls and One Tree Hill instead of sleep, silly me!!),
·    expecting him to sleep like other babies (see post on night time parenting Night Parenting ),
·    using the sling even more than I did first time(again see post on my love affair with baby wearing Baby Wearing), as I mentioned above I hope the sling will help with sibling rivalry, hiding the fact LO is feeding all the time, allowing me to play with LM undisturbed, making us mobile.
·    asking for help from family and friends, instead of having well meaning visitors coming and sitting expecting a cuppa, I’ll (try!) get them working.
·    Batch cooking- we got this tip before LM was born, but we were like- how will we not, between the two of us, have 20 minutes to make dinner. Ah-hem, we ate those words, and not much else sometimes!!
·    Really have a babymoon- just go to bed with baba and feed feed feed, and of course fall in love. How this will work with LM I’m not so sure. Hubby will be there for first few weeks, so that will help. Creche- now that’s another story- no idea what to do there. Take him out when start maternity leave, and let him bond straight away with baba, or keep him in routine (currently 3 day a week 8am-5pm). Would love to play it by ear and see how he is closer to time, but have to give crèche 4 weeks’ notice, or else we will be paying for nothing- not what we want.

So this is where I am, considering becoming a full time SAHM of 2, (definitely for 12 months anyway).
I want to be as prepared for after the birth as possible, as I totally was not on LM. The thoughts of the birth itself were all encompassing, I couldn’t think of anything else, and apparently that is normal, and instinctually as our minds and bodies need to prepare for the event. But this time I think my thoughts are totally opposite. I have to force myself to think about preparing for the birth (have just started my hypnobirthing – more later).
So in order to prepare for becoming a SAHM here are my thoughts/ to-do list so far:
·    Batch cooking- this time we have to think of LM too, so want to have some nutritious food handy. I have never batch cooked – except for LM’s food. So here I need to do a lot of research- some blogs I have already come across that I will be examining:
·    2nd freezer- we have a fridge freezer at the moment, and the freezer has 4 compartments and is tiny. So we have sourced a 2nd hand small freezer that will be purposefully for batch cooking. Good first step. And we luckily have a space in the utility room for it. Sorted.
·    Utility Room- currently is a state. I want one  something like these from Pinterest: 
So that is my major nesting activity this pregnancy. So my plan is to organise the counter space, shelves, presses, and wall paper with art- make it pretty too. Watch this space.
·    Crafting Corner- organise easy access craft corner, so we will be encouraged to craft more.
·    Discuss my expectations with family before hand- ask for help with LM.
·    Stock up on new books, toys (more pretend/play toys- e.g. vet set, or doctors set), dress up outfits- recycle some of our olds ones- need to search pinterest for ideas, homemade games/ puzzles- all to entertain LM in early days of breastfeeding.
·    Routine: I have seen a good few blogs that talk about laundry Tuesday, craft Wednesday, etc. If I didn’t have some sort of routine I’m sure for me, each week would drift and merge into the next. Coming from a structured life, I think I will need this. I think it will help, especially on those days you feel you have no purpose, you need adult conversation, you might go mad, you feel slightly inadequate.
So I think I want to try this. Thoughts so far-
Ø  laundry day & cleaning day once a week, and make sure to get LM involved. I think he has just about gotten over his fear of the noise of the vacuum cleaner which is good. Yesterday I vacuumed with the real one, and he was delighted vacuuming with the mini hand held rechargeable one. Also get LM involved with laundry- get him to organise his clothes, as best he can with my help. This is also something I want to incorporate into the kids room- an easy access clothes area. Was thinking of these shoe holders from IKEA,

SKUBB Storage with 9 compartments, black Width: 22 cm Depth: 34 cm Height: 120 cm

                            or something like this from Pinterest:
      so for me I can easily and quickly access babygrows, vests, cardigans, socks, bibs, etc. And LM can put away some of his cloths. Need to figure out best options. I think it would be good to start early showing LM how the house works and get him involved.
Ø  Home day: craft activity, with organised craft area
Ø  Home day: Play/adventure/learning activities,
Ø  Meet up day: have people up to us/ go to them,
Ø  Out and About: Toddler Activity- maybe a music class, gymnastics, play centre, zoo, museum- need to scope out ideas here. Already considering Gymnastics, we have gone a few times to the free play gym for toddlers ( on a Thursday. LM loved it. But then we tried the structured class on Fridays for toddlers and he just wanted to go on what he wanted, when he wanted as that was what he was used to. But might be a nice class. Then I have heard great things about many play centres- am planning our first visit next week. So will let you know.
Ø  And of course once a month Batch Cooking day.
Ø  Any ideas??? What do you do?

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