Showing posts with label baby wearing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby wearing. Show all posts

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Self Weaning- Growing up- Breastfeeding Older Babas

My little man is 28 months old. He is very attached to us, which is what we aimed for. We have tried to practice all the aspects of attachment parenting. Unfortunately due to his ever growing weight and my pregnancy we have stopped using the sling. It is still there for Dada to use, but he was never as much of an addict as me (see Baby Wearing post)! He still breastfeeds. But I am a bit sad that it may be coming to an end.

When we started crèche at 10 months, the minute he saw me come in at home time, you could see he wanted milk straight away, he’d try to get in at them, and I’d usually bring bread to give him to keep him going until at least the car. I’d hope to get home before feeding as the weather got colder but sometimes he just wanted it straight away, which is fair enough. It is a great way to reconnect and unwind after a potentially stressful/ upsetting day without each other (on both our parts).

Then as he got older, it was usually ok until we got home, but he often asked for them in crèche. We have a code name for them, so saves any unwanted comments/questions. Not that I’m embarrassed, I love feeding him, but I have my self conscious days in this not so breastfeeding friendly culture of ours.

And now he never (oh never say never!!) asks for them in crèche, rarely asks in car (and if he does it is to ask can he have them at home on bean bag), then when we get home he rarely asks for them, as we get swept up with play, chat and dinner preparation. So it is usually before his bed that I offer them to him, on the bean bag in family room, so his Dada can take him to bed. But recently his interest has waned. He is usually busy playing, and can’t be distracted, often says will have “other side” in the morning.
Even when I am putting him to bed, we read stories in the rocking chair, with him on my lap and then he has a feed, but he often wants to pop off so I can re-read the story and he can look at pictures. It used to be that breastfeeding trumped everything, but now play, stories, food, bed sometimes trumps breastfeeding.

Then he usually feeds during the night sometimes a lot (he did go a while STTN, but was then sick, so reverted to waking a bit, but last 3 nights he has slept a lot better and just had a good feed in the morning).

So what has changed?? Has he just started to grow out of it? Is the taste changing with pregnancy (I don’t think so, as he would tell me)? Is it a phase, will he come back with gusto next week?

I’m not really sure how I feel about this. I don’t think I want this part of our relationship to be over ( I already really miss the closeness and reconnection we had with the sling). It has been such a comfort to him. Especially recently when sick and teething. It provides him with protection to his still developing immune system. It provides him some nutrition, although he definitely eats enough now. I had hoped it would discourage sibling rivalry and allow him to get to know his little brother or sister while showing them how to feed.

But on the other hand, it may make it easier to feed one and not two, although I would need to have clever tricks to keep LM distracted and happily occupied while I feed a newborn. Oh who knows, and most likely it will not be something I need to think about and if it is then I really should just let him led- that is what we try to do in most other aspects of his life. Accept that maybe he is ready to move on.

My Little Man is growing up…. another example, yesterday he buttoned up his own pyjama top, 4 buttons, you should have seen his little fingers at work. And he was so chuffed. He announced “I don’t need mama or dada anymore”. I know it was just for that particular task (as hubby pointed out, must have read my thoughts) but still.

Saturday, 4 February 2012

Towards being a Stay at Home Mama (SAHM)

All going well I will be a mama of two, sometime in May/June. I am so excited, terrified, unsure what to expect, while I am feeling much more confident that I will be able to handle the stresses and unknowns of my first babymoon (this is my big hope, as first time round it was tougher than I ever imagined), but I’m terrified I will be wrong!
breastfeeding newborn
Some examples of what I did wrong first time round and what I hope to skip over this time:-
·         breastfeeding-
o   getting to grips with demand feeding straight away,
o   throwing away the routine books,
o   trusting my instincts,
o   mastitis- bad GPs advice led to pumping and dumping on infected breast, having to introduce a bottle of formula to my already windy baby,
o   if I have any problems, which no doubt I will, my first call will be to my local LLL leader or great breastfeeding friends I have met along the way, or recently started breastfeeding group for Irish mums who are breasting older babas (sprung out of terrible interview on Four Live of inspirational Mum Niamh (www.themamashipblog.com) who tandem feeds her two- 3.5yr old and 6 month old.)- a wealth of info (extended breastfeeding in ireland).
o   I always did feel comfortable feeding anywhere- well pretty quickly anyway, so same again.
o   Tandem feeding- unsure how this will go, no expectations to date, haven’t had a chance to think about it much. The whole tandem feeding in public, I’ll do it no problem, but may feel a bit self conscious, need to work on that. Though LM feeds quite rarely when out now, but that may all change when his little brother or sister is on all the time. Although this is where I hope my wrap sling (Baby Wearing) will make all the difference- LO(little one) will be tucked in feeding unknown to LM. We’ll see!!
·    not sleeping when he slept (what was I thinking!! Watching Gilmore Girls and One Tree Hill instead of sleep, silly me!!),
·    expecting him to sleep like other babies (see post on night time parenting Night Parenting ),
·    using the sling even more than I did first time(again see post on my love affair with baby wearing Baby Wearing), as I mentioned above I hope the sling will help with sibling rivalry, hiding the fact LO is feeding all the time, allowing me to play with LM undisturbed, making us mobile.
·    asking for help from family and friends, instead of having well meaning visitors coming and sitting expecting a cuppa, I’ll (try!) get them working.
·    Batch cooking- we got this tip before LM was born, but we were like- how will we not, between the two of us, have 20 minutes to make dinner. Ah-hem, we ate those words, and not much else sometimes!!
·    Really have a babymoon- just go to bed with baba and feed feed feed, and of course fall in love. How this will work with LM I’m not so sure. Hubby will be there for first few weeks, so that will help. Creche- now that’s another story- no idea what to do there. Take him out when start maternity leave, and let him bond straight away with baba, or keep him in routine (currently 3 day a week 8am-5pm). Would love to play it by ear and see how he is closer to time, but have to give crèche 4 weeks’ notice, or else we will be paying for nothing- not what we want.

So this is where I am, considering becoming a full time SAHM of 2, (definitely for 12 months anyway).
I want to be as prepared for after the birth as possible, as I totally was not on LM. The thoughts of the birth itself were all encompassing, I couldn’t think of anything else, and apparently that is normal, and instinctually as our minds and bodies need to prepare for the event. But this time I think my thoughts are totally opposite. I have to force myself to think about preparing for the birth (have just started my hypnobirthing – more later).
So in order to prepare for becoming a SAHM here are my thoughts/ to-do list so far:
·    Batch cooking- this time we have to think of LM too, so want to have some nutritious food handy. I have never batch cooked – except for LM’s food. So here I need to do a lot of research- some blogs I have already come across that I will be examining:
·    2nd freezer- we have a fridge freezer at the moment, and the freezer has 4 compartments and is tiny. So we have sourced a 2nd hand small freezer that will be purposefully for batch cooking. Good first step. And we luckily have a space in the utility room for it. Sorted.
·    Utility Room- currently is a state. I want one  something like these from Pinterest: 
So that is my major nesting activity this pregnancy. So my plan is to organise the counter space, shelves, presses, and wall paper with art- make it pretty too. Watch this space.
·    Crafting Corner- organise easy access craft corner, so we will be encouraged to craft more.
·    Discuss my expectations with family before hand- ask for help with LM.
·    Stock up on new books, toys (more pretend/play toys- e.g. vet set, or doctors set), dress up outfits- recycle some of our olds ones- need to search pinterest for ideas, homemade games/ puzzles- all to entertain LM in early days of breastfeeding.
·    Routine: I have seen a good few blogs that talk about laundry Tuesday, craft Wednesday, etc. If I didn’t have some sort of routine I’m sure for me, each week would drift and merge into the next. Coming from a structured life, I think I will need this. I think it will help, especially on those days you feel you have no purpose, you need adult conversation, you might go mad, you feel slightly inadequate.
So I think I want to try this. Thoughts so far-
Ø  laundry day & cleaning day once a week, and make sure to get LM involved. I think he has just about gotten over his fear of the noise of the vacuum cleaner which is good. Yesterday I vacuumed with the real one, and he was delighted vacuuming with the mini hand held rechargeable one. Also get LM involved with laundry- get him to organise his clothes, as best he can with my help. This is also something I want to incorporate into the kids room- an easy access clothes area. Was thinking of these shoe holders from IKEA,

SKUBB Storage with 9 compartments, black Width: 22 cm Depth: 34 cm Height: 120 cm
http://www.ikea.com/ie/en/catalog/products/00193386/

                            or something like this from Pinterest:
-
http://pinterest.com/pin/61502351131119459/
      so for me I can easily and quickly access babygrows, vests, cardigans, socks, bibs, etc. And LM can put away some of his cloths. Need to figure out best options. I think it would be good to start early showing LM how the house works and get him involved.
Ø  Home day: craft activity, with organised craft area
Ø  Home day: Play/adventure/learning activities,
Ø  Meet up day: have people up to us/ go to them,
Ø  Out and About: Toddler Activity- maybe a music class, gymnastics, play centre, zoo, museum- need to scope out ideas here. Already considering Gymnastics, we have gone a few times to the free play gym for toddlers (http://www.dpgymnasticsclub.com) on a Thursday. LM loved it. But then we tried the structured class on Fridays for toddlers and he just wanted to go on what he wanted, when he wanted as that was what he was used to. But might be a nice class. Then I have heard great things about many play centres- am planning our first visit next week. So will let you know.
Ø  And of course once a month Batch Cooking day.
Ø  Any ideas??? What do you do?


Thursday, 12 January 2012

Baby Wearing

I always wanted to wear my baby, I didn’t know any of the benefits, and to me it was an idealised image of women working in fields with babies attached to their back. The simple idea of keeping your baby close to you appealed to me.

LM in kari-me sling at about 3.5 weeks

But when I started to look in all the big named childcare shops in Ireland, the only slings I could find were the structured, unsupportive baby carriers, which definitely did not appeal to my idealised image.
I didn’t really want to buy online without trying the sling on, so I was stuck. I now know there are numerous places to see, try out and buy slings in Ireland, which I will discuss later.

So Little Man (LM) had reflux*, which meant that after each feed he would get milk up, and a lot more if he was lying down. So we spent all day with one of us having him up on our shoulders. The poor little fella. If we tried to lie him down, he would seem uncomfortable, and cry and spit up milk. Many a top puked on, and on, and on, we needed to regularly wash our huge amount of Moses basket sheets, until we thought of putting a towel and muslin cloth under him, so could do an easier change without needing to remove sheet and wipe down mattress protector. He always had a bib on, until I’d say he was about 10 months.

We were starting to go mad, especially when hubby went back to work and I had to “cope” on my own. It is overwhelming enough, but when you can’t even put your baba down for 5 mins to go to the toilet or make a cuppa you start to feel you will slowly (or quickly) go insane.

So something had to be done.  So when LM was 3 weeks old, I went to my first Cuidiu (ICT- Irish Childcare Trust) breastfeeding meeting. My huge growing LM, looked soooooo tiny compared to the colossal 2, 3, 4, 13 month olds. The women were so nice and I discussed reflux and got some tips, and I also asked about a sling recommendation. I met a lovely lady, who said she had the perfect sling for me, a “Kari-me” wrap sling. It all sounded like a foreign language, but I was learning. Her family were actually immigrating to New Zealand 2 days later and she said she no longer had a need for the sling, her youngest was 14 months and not using it as much and she had a similar one in NZ anyway. Score! So after the meeting I called around to her house and she showed me the sling, popped her little assistant in, she seamed like a pro, made it look so easy and natural. I was sold.

So our adventures in baby wearing began…

I downloaded the Kari-me instructions that evening and we, 2 engineers, tried to decipher how to put this huge piece of material on. We weren’t as put off as we could have been as we had seen a real life demo, and seen the ease which the lady had put on sling and popped happy toddler in. We were confident it was actually easy to use, just not for us at that moment! So we persisted, and within a day we were getting the hang of it. Within a week we were sorted, I could put it on myself, no assistance needed, and then the world was my oyster!
I could now feed LM and then pop him in the sling and make myself a cuppa, have some breakie, watch “One Tree Hill” (an obsession that began, as they had conveniently decided to show it from the beginning when LM was about 4 weeks old), go to the toilet (a little unsure at first, but needs must!), walk, sweep, go on trains, buses, go for lunch, treat myself to day long shopping trips, museum visits, and sooo much more.

I have included some safety tips provided by the Consortium of UK Sling Manufacturers and Retailers at the bottom of this post. **

Good Websites discussed/mentioned in this post:
  • Cuidiu Irish Childcare Trust:

  • Baby Wearing Ireland
Also has a sling library available

  • Breastfeeding Resource Website:

  • Dr William Sears website- good breastfeeding, babywearing, attachment parenting info, plus much more

  • The Baby Wearer

  • Attachment Parenting EU - Ireland

Places to buy slings in Ireland:


Slings I love and use/used extensively:
  • Wrap sling: Kari Me
  • Soft Carrier: Rose and Rebellion

* Reflux :  great article on Breastfeeding Website: http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/reflux.html

** A simple way to remember Baby Wearing Safety:
When using a baby sling, the advice provided by the Consortium of UK Sling Manufacturers and Retailers is to follow these basic principles: When you’re wearing a sling or carrier, don’t forget the T.I.C.K.S.
Tight
In view at all times
Close enough to kiss
Keep chin off the chest
Supported back

Tight – slings and carriers should be tight enough to hug your baby close to you as this will be most comfortable for you both. Any slack/loose fabric will allow your baby to slump down in the carrier which can hinder their breathing and pull on your back.
In view at all times – you should always be able to see your baby’s face by simply glancing down. The fabric of a sling or carrier should not close around them so you have to open it to check on them. In a cuddly position your baby should face upwards not be turned in towards your body. If you breastfeed in the carrier, you must make sure the baby has an open airway (through his/her nose).
Close enough to kiss – your baby’s head should be as close to your chin as is comfortable. By tipping your head forward you should be able to kiss your baby on the head or forehead.
Keep chin off the chest – a baby should never be curled so their chin is forced onto their chest as this can restrict their breathing. Ensure there is always a space of at least a finger width under your baby’s chin.
Supported back – in an upright carry a baby’s back should be supported. If a sling is too loose they can slump which can partially close their airway. A baby in a cuddly position should be positioned carefully with their bottom in the deepest part so the sling does not fold them in half pressing their chin to their chest.


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